National Proposal Day is on March 20th! National Proposal Day is a day to memorialize and celebrate proposals of marriage. Why March 20th? I asked the same question. You would think National Proposal Day would be around a time statistically known for being a day many couples get engaged, such as New Years, the holidays or Valentine’s Day. National Proposal Day is March 20th, however, because that is the beginning of spring, and it is meant to symbolize the equal balance of day and night, which can be a reflection of the balance that can be found in a loving relationship and marriage.
To commemorate this beautiful sentiment, I want to address a touchy subject that can come up when planning a wedding…prenuptial agreements, and why they are a good idea for all couples to consider.
A Prenuptial Agreement Should be on Your Wedding Checklist
Planning a wedding can be incredibly exciting. You’re picking the date, the venue, the dress, which guests you want to see making a fool of themselves on your dance floor. It can be really fun, and also overwhelming. But marriage is more than a wedding. A wedding is the fun event, the marriage is the life you build with your partner.
Unfortunately, it is easy to get caught up in the planning of the event and miss out on the planning for your future lives together. Many couples have detailed conversations regarding the wedding décor and seating chart, but fail to have big conversations with their partner regarding life after the wedding. These conversations should include discussions regarding what assets and debts you both have, how you plan to manage your finances, and what you would need and expect to have as your personal property should the marriage end.
I know these conversations are not high on couples’ lists to discuss because they are difficult to have, complicated, and can bring down the celebration of the wedding. However, having these difficult conversations with your partner are some of the most important steps you should be taking prior to your marriage. Although it seems counterintuitive, having open and honest discussions about money, assets and debts can lift a weight from you and your relationship, and even bring you and your partner closer together.
Think of a Prenuptial Agreement Like an Insurance Policy
The concept of a prenuptial agreement as an insurance policy sounds odd, and maybe even a little uncomfortable. However, that is exactly how a prenuptial agreement can work. We don’t purchase auto insurance because we are planning on getting into a car accident. We purchase the insurance to provide security in knowing that if something were to happen, we are protected and have assistance. Prenuptial agreements can work the same way. A lot of people worry that getting a prenuptial is setting your marriage up for failure or is bad luck. But the “success” of your marriage is not affected by whether or not you have prenuptial agreement, just as your chances of getting into a car accident are not affected by whether or not you have auto insurance. But if that car accident happens, the insurance policy provides the protection and assistance you need to get through the process, as can a prenuptial agreement for a divorce.
Prenuptial agreements provide a clear understanding between the partners regarding their marriage and what happens if the marriage ends. It is a safety net that allows both partners to be comfortable and confident in the legal aspects of marriage.
While no one goes into the marriage planning for a divorce, having a prenuptial agreement in place ensures that both parties are financially protected and prepared for any potential challenges that may arise.
How To Discuss This Touchy Subject with Your Partner
True balance in a relationship can only be found with honesty and openness. If you are not able to have these sensitive discussions with your partner now, before you get married and legally begin building your lives together, you are not providing the strongest foundation for your relationship that you can.
That does not mean these conversations are easy. It can be incredibly intimidating to bring up the subject of a prenuptial agreement with your partner, but there are ways to make the process a little less painful. Approaching your partner with a statement like “I want a prenup” may cause a different reaction and conversation then a statement like “I’ve been thinking about our marriage, and I want to ensure we are on the same page about the legal aspects that comes with marriage, can we discuss that?”
Additionally, finding a neutral and comfortable location to discuss the matter can be helpful. And approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and reassurance. This isn’t intended to put your partner on the spot or trick them into making an agreement. Prenups can simply be a tool that allows you and your partner to have open and honest conversations and make specific plans for your future life together.
What’s more romantic than balance and equality in your relationship?